Oh boy, here we go. I am trying as hard as possible to hide my haughty laugh of incredulity as I write this up in the full coffee shop which I am presently calling my typing home. As I sat in bed enjoying my breakfast this morning…don’t worry-I got it myself, we gave our butler the day off…and while Colin was getting ready for work, a segment was advertised as coming up on The Today Show in a matter of minutes. The subject of this segment? “Are you Skinny Fat?”

Well, I thought to myself, maybe they’re finally going to discuss the body type that most of us have. You know the one. It’s where you eat right (local, sustainable, organic food) and where you take good care of yourself (exercise in ways that feel good not bad, meditate, practice yoga, run after your toddler) and, voila, you’re left with not only great self-esteem, but a body that matches your “body type.” Like me for example: after years of working so damned hard to make my body match what the media was dictating, including dieting, over-exercising, skipping meals-on purpose, and constantly worrying about those extra few pounds, I finally wised up. I met my husband, realized that I was beautiful just the way I was destined to be, and over the course of four years, began eating local, healthy food, cut processed foods out of my diet, and began practicing well-being type exercises, like yoga and pilates, AND gained 30 pounds.

Me, enjoying delicious crab,just before being told by my doctor that I am borderline obese and would be unable to conceive.  I am now 25 weeks pregnant.

Me, enjoying delicious crab,just before being told by my doctor that I am borderline obese and would be unable to conceive. I am now 25 weeks pregnant.

While most of the time I was so thankful to look and feel better, including the added perks of being more curvy, going up 3 cup sizes, and turning even more heads on the street, there were times when I would fall back in to the media trap of thinking that I was overweight. In fact, when trying to get pregnant, I was even told by my ex-gynocologist that I was too overweight to conceive (due to my height and weight, my BMI classifies me as borderline obese). I quickly changed doctors, and with my next visit at my benevolent midwife’s office, I heard the following news: A)I was at the weight that my genes, heritage, and lifestyle dictated, and that B)my weight gain over the last four years was directly related to my happiness that I had finally achieved through meeting my husband and starting my family. What a fantastic “ah-ha” moment. With that news, guess what? I was pregnant within 10 days. I think it would be foolish to assume that none of the above isn’t connected. Self acceptance equals happiness.

So, getting back to this morning’s Today Show segment on Skinny Fat, I ignorantly thought that this segment would finally bring the news to women out there that what I already knew was finally being accepted. That my “fat” was my very own “skinny.” Well, no surprise, but I was wrong.

As it turns out, Skinny Fat actually refers to women who, gasp, ARE skinny on the outside, but fat on the inside. Are question marks circling around your head, too? Sigh, here we go…

Joy Bauer, contributing health editor to The Today Show, who’s book, “Your Inner Skinny” I think says it all as far as her approach goes, claims that even though we may appear to be skinny, that really deep inside we’ve got a terrifying combination of genes and heredity brewing that actually makes us in reality, fat, according to what doctors deem to be so. She compared two women: both of whom are skinny, one of whom is skinny fat. Basically, the one who is skinny fat has never had to do much to maintain her figure. She never works out, she eats what she wants, she is what most would call “blessed with good genes.” Not so, according to Joy. In fact, because she does not “take care of herself,” even though she may appear to on the outside, she is slowly bringing on her own demise: a long, torturous, fatty death. Joy said, in fact, that now “it’s not enough to be thin” anymore. Because being thin could mean “skinny on the outside, obese on the inside.” Her “obesity” is determined by using a tool, much like a vice, to pinch the outside layer of her fat, therefore measuring the relationship of her fat to her overall weight and height. Now, for those of us out there (me four years ago), this would be exactly the news that I would not need. To be told that appearing skinny still could mean that I’m obese on the inside would throw me into a disastrous cycle of obsessive exercising followed by extreme dieting. In fact, the skinny fat woman, after hearing of her major fat issues, said that she is now going to “work hard and watch what she eats,” which we all know is code for not eating as much. It is only since recovering from my faulted ways that I can hear news like this and not go off the deep end. But imagine how many women (and men) are out there who are taking this news to heart?

As my genius husband brought up after watching this segment in disbelief, what about the women from Fiji, Hawaii, or the Inuit or Yupik Eskimos?

An Inuit Woman

An Inuit Woman

A Fijian Woman

A Fijian Woman

A Hawaiian Woman

A Hawaiian Woman

What if they were subjected to this fat-pinching device? No doubt they would blow this poor skinny fat woman on The Today Show out of the water. Wouldn’t we all agree, though, that their bodies are designed based on a mixture of factors: environment, heritage and genetics? From Joy Bauer’s point of view, these women would practically be knocking on death’s door. If it were up to her, they would all be put on strict diets and exercise regimes, only to lose half of their body weight and return home, where they would be unable to function in their own societies. Do only Joy’s rules apply to Americans? And what of this poor Skinny Fat woman on The Today Show? Could her natural body type, instead of being a ticking time bomb, instead just represent her potential Nordic heritage? Why should she change to have to conform to the current ignorant standards of our current thinking when it comes to body image, health, and the desire to be thin?

The bottom line is this: we all look exactly the way we should, IF (and a big “if” it is) we allow our bodies to slowly get back to the size and shape that they were always meant to be. Instead of looking at an ex-Skinny girl and saying, “She’s really let herself go,” why don’t we look at her in admiration and hope, saying instead, “Wow, she must be really happy. Looks like she’s finally found herself.” My hope is that everyone watching The Today Show this morning can look inside themselves, instead of listening to a woman who does not know them, and ask themselves if there is anything they can change in order to get closer to achieving the body, heart, and mind that is the healthiest for them.